


Tinder

by SkyeFish



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Good day people, I am not done with finals yet!!! But this is as far as ill slack off, Lu Han is an emotional wreck and so am I, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-04
Updated: 2016-11-04
Packaged: 2018-08-29 00:26:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8468776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyeFish/pseuds/SkyeFish
Summary: Tao needs to get laid, or so Lu Han thinks.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so this is based on a true story I saw on tumblr. I just added a twist lol the true story is at the notes below.

What does Lu Han know about online dating websites? Absolutely nothing. But since he’s a sweetheart, he volunteered to help his bro, Zi Tao create a profile. He’s a loving brother, really. He just figured that Zi Tao needed someone to relieve his sexual desires and would be willing love him.

Name: Huang Zi Tao  
Age: 21  
Gender: Male

And with that, Lu Han decides to wrap up Zi Tao’s profile. He just needs to find a decent picture of his best mate and Zi Tao can start his virtual love life. He goes through the sea of selfies and candid shots Zi Tao had unwillingly provided, sorts out the ones that looks best   
and leave the decision of making a good first impression to Zi Tao.

Zi Tao picks the picture he did for a photoshoot a while back. It has his jaw on its sharpest point, so ready to cut them bitches if they ever tried to break his tiny fragile heart, eyes smoky completed with eyeliner and honestly if anyone every encountered him in a dark alleyway they’d just scoot the fuck away. But really that picture was perfection, even Lu Han gave himself a pat on his back for leaving that option in the sea of photos.

Lu Han is excited. Much more excited that Zi Tao because his buddy is finally making some efforts to do something about his fucking horny self. And so, they start their swiping.

Left. Left. Left. SOMEONE SUPER LIKED YOU!

The phone’s out of Zi Tao’s grasps in an instant and Lu Han, shrieks in either joy or pain (no one really knows) as he sees the other tinder profile.

Name: Kris Wu   
Age: 26

Description: genuine, laid back, and ready for fun.

Attached to the profile were pictures of Kris, more pictures if you were to swipe left. Lu Han’s frozen in place, and Zi Tao sends a concerning glance towards him.

“Bro,” Zi Tao says, “Why are you looking like someone just stole your husband away from you?”

“I don’t wanna think too much, my brain is malfunctioning.” Lu Han says as he returns Zi Tao his phone. “Don’t you dare SUPER LIKE him too, you asshole.”

“Why? I thought you wanted me to get laid.” Zi Tao says without glancing at his phone. “Did you finally give up on the ide-”

“Yes, i want you to get laid!” Lu Han shrieked. “But not with him!”

“Okay, but you have a husband. Why are you stopping me from hooking out with a strange- Oh.” Zi Tao stops at mid sentence as he looks at his phone. “Well,”

“Well.”

“This is hella awkward bro. I think you should go talk to Kris. That description, is too straightforward to be his style.”

“Yeah,” Lu Han says, “Don’t wanna go jumping into conclusions in mere seconds like I supposedly did when other people wrote about me in their stories.”

They ignore Kris’ super like and goes back to swiping. They swiped for a while before Zi Tao groans and whines about how boring this is and Lu Han should’ve just left his non existent love life alone. His whines and protest comes to a stop when Lu Han promises him pizza. Maybe it was the match Lu Han did for him that made him stop but honestly it’s probably both.

When the door slams with a loud bang, Kris’ face hardly twitched. Maybe Lu Han was just having one of his moody days again. Then again, something might be very wrong. But Kris is too emotionally drained and tired to deal with him now. Lu Han plops onto the couch next to Kris and buries his face in the other’s lap. Then he starts sobbing. Alarmed, Kris finds his energy again, fingers finding Lu Han’s face.

“Hey, love what’s wrong?” Kris asks huskily. He thumbs the other’s tear stained face, heart aching. But did he know that he was in wrong now?

“You,” Lu Han breathes, voice choked up and hiccups. He scans Kris’ face for guilt, but all he’s faced with is a face filled with confusion.

“Me? What did I do? Was it that one time I forgot to bring you breakfast in bed?”

“No, you idiot!” Lu Han shrieks, “That’s another thing!”

“Love, I don’t know what I did wrong if you keep beating around the bush.”

Lu Han tries his best not to flush when he hears Kris use that stupid nickname. Then he remembers he was supposed to be mad at Kris for creating a stupid Tinder account. Was he not enough for him? Who’s going to take care of him like he did? Did he think that Tao was better than him in bed? What’s his problem?

“Give me your phone,” Lu Han demands, glaring at the taller.

“It’s next to you.”

“Hand it to me!”

Kris huffs. What did he ever do to Lu Han that’s he’s being a brat now? He surrenders his phone and looks at the other as he unlocks his phone and scrolls through the phone. When Lu Han fails to search for what’s he’s looking for (Tinder), he grumpily returns Kris’ phone.

“Did you delete it?”

“Delete what?” Kris frowns. Why can’t he just go straight to the point?

“Tinder.”

“What?”

“You heard me,” Lu Han mumbles through Kris’ sweatpants.

“Why would I need Tinder? I already have you.” Kris sighs as he runs his fingers through Lu Han’s hair.

Lu Han’s grateful for shoving his head onto Kris’ lap. He doesn’t want Kris to see how he’s made him blush with such minimal efforts. It’s just really unfair. Especially when Lu Han’s still kinda mad at Kris.

“Hey, I still have no idea what bullshit you’re saying but trust me; you’re good enough.”

“Shut up.” Lu Han says as he pulls Kris in for a kiss.

\--

“Hey dude so I went to check on that Kris account and-”

Lu Han looks up almost too eagerly. Zi Tao’s smiling. It must mean good news. But what if Zi Tao’s had a sadistic side Lu Han never knew about?

“I have a date,” Zi Tao pauses, looking nervous. “with him.”

“You what?” Lu Han screams. Having a best friend cheating on you with your husband and admitting it face front is the worst experience one could ever have.

“Let me explain!” Zi Tao yelps in pain as Lu Han begins to throw kicks and punches (not really soft) at him.

“That person isn't Kris!”

“And how would you know?”

“He uh slid into my DMs. Then we chatted a little, exchanged skype ids and video called.”

“Are you out of your mind? WHAT IF HE'S A SERIAL KILLER?” Lu Han yells into Zi Tao’s ear, deafening the other temporarily.

“His name is Sehun okay and he was just being insecure about himself and-”

“Okay that doesn't give him the right to take my husband’s pictures to catfish other people! That's very inconsiderate!” Lu Han huffs.

“We’re meeting in an hour.”

“What. The. Fuck?”

“Yeah okay, I gotta go and uh get ready!” Zi Tao says as he shoves Lu Han out of his door. “I'll tell you how it goes, okay?”

Lu Han is going to murder Sehun the next time Zi Tao ever brings him around.

**Author's Note:**

> I was helping my friend create an online dating profile. When she got her search results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles away from her. His description: genuine, laid back, and ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He’s already married. To me. FML.


End file.
